The porn cannot be displayed

The porn you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or your cramped, sticky fingers may have typed in the wrong URL.

Please try the following:

  • Click the refresh.gif (82 bytes) Refresh button, or take a cold shower and try again later.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. Look closely, as excessive masturbation is known to affect vision.
  • To check your connection settings, click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the General tab, click Settings. Then click View Files and delete all those cookies from the sex sites you have been leering at before your local area network (LAN) administrator, boss, spouse, children, parents, or significant other discovers what a pathetic little pervert you are.
  • If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically discover dirty pictures.
    If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
    click Detect Settings Detect Dirty Pictures.
  • Some porn sites require money. It is recommended to use someone else's credit card, but for that kind of jack, it's probably cheaper to drag your pale, pasty carcass to a nudie bar and look at real sluts. WARNING-There is NO sex in the Champagne Room.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure your Security settings can support it. Click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Security section and check settings for SSL 2.0, SSL 3.0, -Oh, never mind! You don't know what you're doing. You might as well bust open your weird uncle's footlocker he stashed in the crawlspace and look at his vintage, moldy 1950's nudist magazine collection. 
  • Click the Back button to try another skanky site.


Cannot find smut server or DNS Error
Internet Explorer





Greetings-most people do not scroll down this far.
Instead of the usual 2-5 hits per day this 404 spoof site normally receives, it has been getting a ridiculous amount of traffic. Here is a brief explanation. My main site is for fans of a local radio show in Columbus, Ohio where I would occasionally post amusing websites. As this link list grew, I moved it to it's own page and added a site tracker.  Because of all the text and 100s of links, the page started getting lots of search engine hits for a variety of things. Occasionally hits from perverts looking for nasty stuff like "child+dog+sex+pics" on search engines would show up in the site tracker referrals, so last May I made a phony porn banner at the page bottom. I then created this page and posted it on a personal site, linked it to the phony ad banner, and snickered a bit. 

Click the little Bravenet tracker at the bottom of the page and look at the 6 month traffic overview. There were usually 3-5 hits per day, often from search engine inquiries for "vintage nudist magazines". Believe it or not, prior to this goofiness, the most hits were from some guy with Web TV-I think he used it as his homepage- who knows, maybe it's William Shatner looking for porn-didn't he do their ads? 

Then it was posted to a few big blogs or forums on October 30, 2002, and has been rolling through the weird Oz-like world of blogdom ever since, receiving 1000's of hits. I discovered this on November 3, so I really don't even know where the first big wave of hits came from, as the site tracker history only saves the last 50 referrers. Some people even emailed me claiming this page was stolen from other sites, which is odd as the tracker goes back for months and Blogdex has the first listing in July. Overall, although this has been completely unintentional, it's also rather amusing when I realize somebody in Estonia or the Netherlands got a chuckle from this silliness.

If you really like this little joke, well, you, too can play a prank on your perverted, porn craving pals. What are you doing hanging out with those creepy bastards anyway?

Just click here for the page code

There are actually 2 pages, this main one and the little "no boobies" pop up. All I did was save a standard 404 page as an html file, stick in a few smartass remarks, and toss in a  free javascript for the pop up.  Just edit the code (I highlighted it in blue) so your URL is the refresh function link. Then you can upload both html files to your website-(don't forget the 4 little gifs). If you don't feel like screwing around with the html stuff and don't care if all the little buttons function, it is a lot easier to just copy this gif and stick it on a blank page with a white background and whatever snotty title you want, and you'll receive all the acclaim and fortune that I have! Wheeee! 

Since you have scrolled down this far, you might as well send me an email and say hello or something.
email Happy Dog
for more goofiness visit
the Corby Fan Page Network


and visit my
friends at

for great links and
fun commentary

and check out 
the nice folks at

while you're at it.

And you will all definitely want a copy of
The Hipster Handbook

November 18 2002 update
I looked at the page traffic by the hour-it peaks from 9am to 1 pm EST, which is about the time most people in the US get to work and check their emails. Naughty, naughty! I'm ruining the economy- get back to work. Back in my day, one would goof off at work by daubing ochre pigment on our buttocks and smooshing them on the cave walls. Later, after we hunted the Wooly Mammoth to extinction, they invented the Xerox machine  which one could sit upon and fax the resulting grainy image to one's friends. So I guess this is a far more efficient way to goof off.

And look at all the nice things some German said about me:
Dieses Beispiel einer zielgruppenspezifischen 404-Seite zeigt, wie man Leuten, die sich mit falschen Vorstellungen auf die eigene Site verirrt haben, zu rascher Orientierung verhilft.

I guess all I can say is danke.

November 14 2002 update
I imagine this whole thing will blow over in short order as this site becomes recopied to the point of absurdity. It has been an interesting squeeze through the gastrointestinal tract of the personal Web. A lot of people apparently put a lot of effort into weblogs that obviously not too many other folks see. Whether this indicates growing social isolation and a desperate cry for help, or merely a lot of goofing off at work, I really cannot tell. However, I do wonder why some people take such pains to render their websites illegible-tiny fonts, clashing or almost blended colors, annoying flash intros, endless scrolling, hidden links, geek doofus graphics that make navigation into an annoying puzzle... I would guess that such pretentious weird design is merely a frenetic attempt to mask the lack of actual content.

I did get a nice note from the folks at StaticBeats, which is a beautifully designed site for fans of electronic music. They have a lot of good music, information, links, and resources, so I suggest that you go check them out.

This little prank seems to be developing into my own little blog, which is a ghastly thought. I'd better go do something productive.

November 13 2002 update
Well the weird waddle through webblogdom lurches on...WoooHOOOOO!  Assorted lazy boobs are still copying this page's code verbatim and posting it as their own creation. The trouble is, my URL is the <a href link= for the Return function in the first page so everybody ends up back here when they click the refresh button.  And they don't realize that you need a separate page for the pop up, so that doesn't work either. 

Just click here for the page code or you can just copy this 13k gif

Hey, you could even try being a little original; there are a lot of funny 404 spoofs out there, and everybody has probably already seen this page and is rather sick of it... Unless you are like some of my "pals" who repeatedly email me with every stupid picture, list, and piece of inspirational drivel that's been around for the past 5 years. I have a special email account for those folks. Hell, I'd better check it-they've probably sent me this page 50 times.

I still can't believe all the hits this silly page is getting-The site trackers are at the bottom of this page if you want to check out the traffic. The blue globe is from Extreme Tracking, the yellow counter is from Dejacey, and both are nice free utilities that require just a little cutting and pasting, so check them out for your own site. If you click on the bravenet counter, you can see all the free goodies they have, as well as a bunch of pop ups, all of which I am sure feature fine products and services whose advertisements help pay the way for freeloaders like me.

November 12 2002 update
This epic odyssey through blogdom continues unabated. Now it appears to have returned stateside after a romp through Montreal, the Netherlands and Belgium. I had no idea there were so many blog pages. Note to posters-I stuck a small script on this page that automatically reloads it on top if posted within a frame-primarily because some lazy boobs tried to pass this off as their own site and didn't even bother copying the gif I made for them to use. If your blog opens your posts within a frame and you don't want your traffic coming here, just copy the 13k picture and post it on your site. I've noticed some hits from MIT's Blogdex, a Weblog index which among other things, lists the sites linked to current stories and web pages. Cool place-check it out.

I've gotten a number of emails from people with a high level of sophistication and profound intellect who appreciate this odd little joke. I try to answer them all, but now that I am an inadvertent Internet celebrity, I'll probably have to hire people to handle such chores. Then I'll issue an IPO, piss away the money, declare bankruptcy, and fire everybody just before the holidays. Then I'll be busy with the book tour and charge other bankrupt tech companies big bucks for my motivational seminars to energize their remaining employees who just got their wages and benefits cut. I'll probably have a videotape version repeated endlessly during the 49 annual PBS fundraisers, and break into the big time bullshit slinging field. Trophy wife, trophy mistresses, fancy cars, and a whirlwind lifestyle and my own talk show. Then dark secrets from my past will surface in the tabloids, and I'll begin the long sad downward spiral ultimately ending in a nekkid drug-addled romp through a large metropolitan zoo with Wynona Ryder, O.J. Simpson, Pee Wee Herman, Pamela Anderson Lee Rock, Anna Nicole Smith, and Nick Nolte. And to think you knew me when...

November 09 2002 update

I see the nice folks at

 

have listed this site. A Dutch site called Totally Flabbergasted linked to the gif page, so I redirected them here to avoid burning the bandwidth and changed that page to avoid confusion and/or hotlinking. Judging from the site stats, some other boneheads are trying to hotlink this page in their own frames-It isn't working too well, is it, you boobs? If you want to swipe the 13k gif and use it on your site, go ahead, that's why I posted it. Just don't remote link to this server. 

And be sure to 
check out all the fun at 




November 08 2002 update
Another feeble rip off attempt. Now some pinhead tried to trap this page in a single frame at http://love.sytes.net/, but stuck his own title on the page. What a boob. I fixed it in a nice way by using a simple frame break out script instead of redirecting his buddies to something really nasty that would get  them into lots of trouble at work. I still might send them to something nasty if I'm feeling grouchy and they don't knock it off. 

For some odd reason, this page seems to be rather popular in the Netherlands and has been posted on a number of blogs and forums there. Of course, I don't speak Dutch, so they may be saying bad things about me like, "This impertinent yankee bastard! I was really looking forward to viewing big boobies and naughty nuns, and he mocks me from Ohio, wherever the hell that is! Let's go pelt him with souvenir wooden shoes and windmills!" 

I'm getting a lot of hits from


 
It's a great site with lots of links and fun stuff-check it out. 

I have gotten some nice emails from folks who got a chuckle out of this silliness, along with offers of enlarging my penis and breasts with safe herbal products.  I think I'll try those special supplements out on my dog first. As he is built rather close to the ground, if he starts walking funny, I'll know they work. Some nice fellow from Africa also wants me to help him transfer funds to the U.S. and he promises to reward me most generously. I'll let you all know how that works out. It sounds quite promising.

November 05 2002 update
WooHOOO! I've been RIPPED OFF! I feel so flattered. Some incompetent boob at somewhere called www.thethriller.com hosted by PowWeb.com in CA saved this page in it's entirety, snipped off this bottom half, and posted it as their own. Of course, someone that lazy and stupid didn't bother actually looking at the code, so the page not only does not work properly, but if you click the "Return" link, it leads back here! What a dumbass! Gee, and I make it so simple! I even have the page in gif format- just click here, right click and save it. If you want to use it on your site, go ahead, have fun. You could even drop me an email and actually ask if you want to be polite, but that's not necessary.

Oh, well, have fun everybody-I must return to my labors.