Greetings-most people do not scroll
down this far.
Instead of the usual 2-5 hits per day this 404 spoof site normally receives,
it has been getting a ridiculous amount of traffic. Here is a brief
explanation. My main site is for fans of a local radio show in
Columbus, Ohio where I would occasionally post amusing websites. As this
link list grew, I moved it to it's own page and added a site tracker.
Because of all the
text and 100s of links, the page started getting lots of search engine hits for
a variety of things. Occasionally hits from perverts looking for nasty stuff like "child+dog+sex+pics"
on search engines would show up in the site tracker referrals, so last May I made a phony porn banner at the page bottom.
I then created this page and posted it on a personal site,
linked it to the phony ad banner, and snickered a bit. |
Click the little Bravenet tracker at the
bottom of the page and look at the 6 month traffic
overview. There were usually 3-5 hits per day, often
from search engine inquiries for "vintage nudist magazines". Believe it or not,
prior to this goofiness, the most hits were from some guy with Web TV-I think he
used it as his homepage- who knows, maybe it's William Shatner looking for porn-didn't he do their
ads?
Then it was posted to a few big blogs or forums on October 30, 2002, and has been rolling through the weird Oz-like world of blogdom ever
since, receiving 1000's of hits. I discovered this on November
3, so I really don't even know where the first big wave of hits came from, as
the site tracker history only saves the last 50 referrers. Some people even emailed me
claiming this page was stolen from other sites, which is odd as the
tracker goes back for months and Blogdex has the first
listing in July. Overall, although this has been completely unintentional, it's also
rather amusing when I realize somebody in Estonia or the Netherlands got a
chuckle from this silliness.
If you really like this little joke, well, you, too can play a prank on your
perverted, porn craving pals. What are you doing hanging out with those creepy
bastards anyway?
Just click here for the page code-
There are
actually 2
pages, this main one and the little "no boobies" pop up. All I did was
save a standard 404 page as an html file, stick in a few smartass remarks, and
toss in a free javascript for the pop up.
Just edit
the code (I highlighted it in blue) so your URL is the refresh function link. Then you can upload both html files
to your website-(don't forget the 4 little gifs).
If you don't feel like screwing around with the html stuff and don't care if all
the little buttons function, it is a lot easier to just copy this
gif and stick it on a blank page with a white background and
whatever snotty title you want, and you'll receive all the acclaim and
fortune that I have! Wheeee! |
Since you
have scrolled down this far, you might as well send me an email and say hello or
something.
email Happy Dog
for more goofiness visit
the Corby Fan Page Network
and visit my
friends at
for great links and
fun commentary
and check out
the nice folks at
while you're at it.
And you will all definitely want a copy of
The
Hipster Handbook
November 18 2002 update
I looked at the page traffic by the hour-it peaks from 9am to 1 pm EST,
which is about the time most people in the US get to work and check their
emails. Naughty, naughty! I'm ruining the economy- get back to work. Back in my
day, one would goof off at work by daubing ochre pigment on our buttocks and
smooshing them on the cave walls. Later, after we hunted the Wooly Mammoth to
extinction, they invented the Xerox machine which
one could sit upon and fax the resulting grainy image to one's friends. So I
guess this is a far more efficient way to goof off.
And look at all the nice things some German
said about me:
Dieses Beispiel einer zielgruppenspezifischen 404-Seite zeigt, wie man Leuten, die sich mit falschen Vorstellungen auf die eigene Site verirrt haben, zu rascher Orientierung
verhilft.
I guess all I can say is danke.
November 14 2002 update
I imagine this whole thing will blow over in short
order as this site becomes recopied to the point of
absurdity. It has been an interesting squeeze through the gastrointestinal tract of the personal Web. A lot
of people apparently put a lot of effort into weblogs that obviously not too many
other folks see. Whether this
indicates growing social isolation and a desperate cry for help, or merely a lot of
goofing off at work, I really cannot tell. However, I do wonder why some people
take such pains to render their websites illegible-tiny fonts, clashing or
almost blended colors, annoying flash intros, endless scrolling, hidden links,
geek doofus graphics that make navigation into an annoying puzzle... I would
guess that such pretentious weird design is merely a frenetic attempt to mask the lack
of actual content.
I did get a nice note from the folks at StaticBeats,
which is a beautifully designed site for fans of electronic music. They have a
lot of good music, information, links, and resources, so I suggest that you go
check them out.
This little prank seems to be developing into my own little blog, which
is a ghastly thought. I'd better go do something productive.
November 13 2002 update
Well the weird waddle through webblogdom lurches on...WoooHOOOOO! Assorted lazy boobs are still copying this page's code verbatim and posting it
as their own creation. The trouble is, my URL is
the <a href link= for the Return function in
the first page so everybody ends up back here when they click the refresh button. And they don't realize that you need a
separate page for the pop up, so that doesn't work either.
Just click here for the page code or you can just copy this
13k gif!
Hey, you could even try being a little original;
there are a lot of funny 404 spoofs out there, and everybody has probably already seen this page and is rather sick of it...
Unless you are like some of my "pals" who repeatedly email me with
every stupid picture, list, and piece of inspirational drivel that's been
around for the past 5 years. I have a special email account for those folks.
Hell, I'd better check it-they've probably sent me this page 50 times.
I still can't believe all the hits this silly page is getting-The site trackers
are at the bottom of this page if you want to check out the traffic. The blue
globe is from Extreme
Tracking, the yellow counter is from Dejacey,
and both are nice free utilities that require just a little cutting and pasting,
so check them out for your own site. If you click on the bravenet counter, you can see all the free goodies they
have, as well as a bunch of pop ups, all of which I am sure feature fine products
and services whose advertisements help
pay the way for freeloaders like me.
November 12 2002 update
This epic odyssey through blogdom continues unabated. Now it appears to
have returned stateside after a romp through Montreal, the Netherlands and
Belgium. I had no idea there were so many blog pages. Note to posters-I stuck a
small script on this page that automatically reloads it on top if posted within
a frame-primarily because some lazy boobs tried to pass this off as their own
site and didn't even bother copying the
gif
I made for them to use. If your blog opens your posts within a frame and you
don't want your traffic coming here, just copy the 13k picture and post it on
your site. I've noticed some hits from MIT's Blogdex,
a Weblog index which among other things, lists the sites linked to current
stories and web pages. Cool place-check it out.
I've gotten a number of emails from people with a high level of
sophistication and profound intellect who appreciate this odd little joke. I try
to answer them all, but now that I am an inadvertent Internet celebrity, I'll
probably have to hire people to handle such chores. Then I'll issue an IPO, piss
away the money, declare bankruptcy, and fire everybody just before the holidays.
Then I'll be busy with the book tour and charge other bankrupt tech companies
big bucks for my motivational seminars to energize their remaining employees who
just got their wages and benefits cut. I'll probably have a videotape version
repeated endlessly during the 49 annual PBS fundraisers, and break into the big
time bullshit slinging field. Trophy wife, trophy mistresses, fancy cars, and a
whirlwind lifestyle and my own talk show. Then dark secrets from my past will
surface in the tabloids, and I'll begin the long sad downward spiral ultimately ending
in a nekkid drug-addled romp through a large metropolitan zoo with Wynona Ryder,
O.J. Simpson, Pee Wee Herman, Pamela Anderson Lee Rock, Anna Nicole Smith, and
Nick Nolte. And to think you knew me when...
November 09 2002 update
I see the nice folks at
have listed this site. A Dutch site called Totally Flabbergasted
linked to the gif
page, so I redirected them here to avoid burning the bandwidth and changed
that page to avoid confusion and/or hotlinking. Judging from the site stats, some other boneheads are trying to hotlink this page in their own
frames-It isn't working too well, is it, you
boobs? If you want to swipe the
13k gif
and use it on your site, go ahead, that's why I posted it. Just don't remote
link to this server.
And be sure to
check out all the fun at
November 08 2002 update
Another feeble rip off attempt. Now some pinhead tried to trap this page in a
single frame at http://love.sytes.net/, but stuck his own
title on the page. What a boob. I fixed it in a nice way by using a simple frame
break out script instead of redirecting
his buddies to something really nasty that would get them into lots of
trouble at work. I still might send them to something nasty if I'm feeling grouchy
and they don't knock it off.
For some odd reason, this page seems to be
rather popular in the Netherlands and has been posted on a number of blogs and
forums there. Of course, I don't speak Dutch, so they may be saying bad things
about me like, "This impertinent yankee bastard! I was really looking
forward to viewing big boobies and naughty nuns, and he mocks me from Ohio,
wherever the hell that is! Let's go pelt him with souvenir wooden shoes and
windmills!"
I'm getting a lot of hits from
It's a great site with lots of links and fun stuff-check
it out.
I have gotten some nice emails from folks who
got a chuckle out of this silliness, along with offers of enlarging my penis and
breasts with safe herbal products. I think I'll try those special
supplements out on my dog
first. As he is built rather close to the ground, if he starts walking funny,
I'll know they work. Some nice fellow from Africa also wants me to help him
transfer funds to the U.S. and he promises to reward me most generously. I'll
let you all know how that works out. It sounds quite promising.
November 05 2002 update
WooHOOO! I've been RIPPED OFF! I feel so flattered. Some incompetent boob at
somewhere called www.thethriller.com hosted by PowWeb.com in CA saved this page in it's entirety, snipped off this bottom half, and posted it as
their own. Of course, someone that lazy and stupid didn't bother actually
looking at the code, so the page not only does not work properly, but if you
click the "Return" link, it leads back here! What a dumbass! Gee, and I make
it so simple! I even have the page in gif format- just click here, right click and save it. If you want to use it on your
site, go ahead, have fun. You could even drop me an email and actually ask if
you want to be polite, but that's not necessary.
Oh, well, have fun everybody-I must return to my labors.
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